Dadashri : I keep warning you to pay attention to this but to take heed is not easy for you. Yet, by experimenting with celibacy (brahmacharya), say for three to five days or for a whole week in a month one will feel wonderful. If one has practiced celibacy (brahmacharya) for a week in a month, then by the middle of the week he will experience tremendous bliss. The bliss of the Self will express. This bliss is beyond description.
Some people say that they cannot get rid of sexuality. I ask, why are you acting crazy? Why don't you set some disciplined limit for yourself and then make sure that you stick to it. In this day and age, nothing can be achieved without discipline. Some flexibility is allowed.
Questioner: What does one do in a situation where a man wants to practice celibacy (brahmacharya) but his wife does not?
Dadashri: If she does not wish to, then try and make her understand.
Questioner: How should I make her understand?
Dadashri: You have to keep making her understand and gradually it will happen. It does not happen instantly. By continuous discussions and mutual understanding it will happen. Both of you will have to come to a meaningful compromise. You have to discuss and think about the harm of sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya) and thoughts related to this.
You will have to get rid of sex if you want liberation. There are about a thousand mahatmas who take this yearlong vow of celibacy (brahmacharya). 'Grant us a yearlong vow of celibacy (brahmacharya), Dada,' they say. They come to know all the benefits within a year.
I was shocked after talking to four to five mahatmas. I told them that this falsehood of sexuality would not do. This is the indecision. You will definitely have to get rid of it. Celibacy (Brahmacharya) is needed first. You are really a celibate (brahmachari) by way of being the Self, but you cannot be in sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya) in worldly interactions. This is a clear conflict.
One who does not have any opinions about celibacy (brahmacharya) or sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya) is considered to be in celibacy (brahmacharya). To constantly remain the Self is my celibacy (brahmacharya). That does not mean that I do not accept the external celibacy (brahmacharya) of thoughts, speech and acts. As you are living a married life, I have to say that there is no problem with sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya), but your opinion for sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya) must not exist. Your opinion should always be for celibacy (brahmacharya). Sexual indulgence (Abrahmacharya) for you is a file that needs to be settled with equanimity. You are not able to experience the bliss of the Self because you are still stuck with your old opinions about sexuality and sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya). Once these opinions leave, you will be able to experience the bliss of the Self. The veil of opinion for sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya) obstructs your clear vision and bliss. The opinion must be exclusively that of, and for celibacy (brahmacharya) only. What is a vow? A vow is that which continues its experience effortlessly. When is the mahavrat of celibacy (brahmacharya) attained? It is the experience that there is not an iota of the thought of sexual indulgence (abrahmacharya), and no memory of it.
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